What a Girl Wants, 1-20
A friend of mine recently posted 100 things that she requires in her vision of “The Perfect Man.” I’d like to discuss 20 of them per day in some detail to show you that even a girl who wants 100 things from you, all the time, isn’t asking for much.
[The bolded items are written by Girl who shall remain nameless.]
FUTURE HUSBAND CRITERIA:
1. Must carry on good conversations. The trick to being good at having a conversation is to have something to contribute. Women like to talk ALL THE TIME; if what they’re talking about isn’t even remotely interesting to you, try relating it to something in your life. The worst thing you can do is not care.
2. Must be patient & understanding. Women really are from Venus; their alien minds have magical powers we’ll never understand. Don’t get frustrated when they’re being difficult or hard to understand. If you let her keep talking, eventually you’ll catch on. Just bite your tongue before you say something stupid. Half the time, a woman will work out her own issue — she just wants you there for support.
3. Must be educated. Learn something new every day. It’s a great way to combat Alzheimer’s and it will make you more appealing. There are free classes offered online by a wide variety of schools…
4. Must make me coffee. Coffee is the DEVIL!!! My dad used to drink a full pot every morning. He has since switched to Green Tea. But I digress, some people DO still like coffee. I’ll say this many times during this post, there are little things you can do that take 30 seconds each that can result in a stronger relationship.
5. Must be fun & adventurous. If you’re worried that you’re living too sedentary a life, try finding someone to emulate. Might I recommend The Most Interesting Man Alive?
6. Must be supportive. We all need.. somebody.. to lean on. If you’re supportive of another person, they will often be supportive of you. If your girl wants to do something, you’re best bet is to back her up. It might not be what you want, but honestly, she deserves it. By the same token, if your woman doesn’t support you, she is worthless.
7. Must make me laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. I can’t tell you how many times something funny has helped me out of a bad spot. If you don’t think you’re humorous, then develop a quirk. Good idea: Quote funny lines from movies. Bad Idea: Point out every time you see animals having sex.
8. Must be considerate (refill the toilet paper when you use it all!!). Another 30 seconds of your life that if you sacrifice will earn you some points. Putting the toilet seat down after peeing is easy after the first few days… I don’t even realize I’m doing it anymore :-O
9. Must communicate w/me efficiently. Sometimes we say things that have deeper meanings. For example, “Can you wash the dishes?” really means “I don’t want to wash the dishes, but they need to get done.” If you do something as simple as re-phrasing that first question into, “Can you wash the dishes FOR me?,” she’ll understand that it is a favor to you and will do the favor because she likes you. Be ready to return the favor.
10. Must be loving & affectionate. Steve McQueen is my favorite American Actor. He always got the girl, but never appeared outwardly affectionate and loving. You don’t have to be “kissy and huggy” to convey your love and affection for a person. If you like to be in private when you kiss, be clear about that up front. If you like someone who is VERY OUTWARDLY affectionate, make a compromise. Hold her hand, open the door for her, ask her what she wants to order, then order for her…
11. Must be a good problem solver. The Internet has every answer you could possibly need, from how to fix a broken sliding door to how to talk to your kids about drugs. I mean really, you’re reading this online, aren’t you?
12. Must like Harry Potter!! I don’t want to get into this one. Sorry, 99/100 isn’t bad. Still an A+.
13. Should be able to cook, just in case I burn dinner! Like any survival skill, you should be good at everything under the sun. Being a bachelor, you start to get lazy. Laziness is the killer of all good things. If you can’t cook, be able to read a simple recipe and follow directions.
14. Shouldn’t be afraid to take charge. Be confident. Lead from the front. Make decisions. (If she doesn’t like them, be ready to change your decisions.) Tricks to taking charge: Treat every situation like it’s something you’re already good at. If you’re good at “WoW” then when she needs you to negotiate the price of a car with the salesman, act like you’re a level 96 Paladin, and he’s a shopkeeper. (I totally B.S.’d my way through that reference; did you see the confidence?)
15. Should try to get along w/my family. Every family has issues. Your family probably does even if you don’t see the issues. Make strides to relate to her family. If they’re conservative, dress conservatively around them; it’s not like you have to spend all your time with them. If you give a little, you might learn that they’re awesome and will cook for you.
16. Will dance w/me when we go to bars. Dancing is a skill. Some people have it, others don’t. If you lack the confidence to dance at a bar, drink. If you start to get self-conscious, take a minute, sober up, then look at all the other ________s on the dance floor who look equally silly. Tips to remember: Every song has rhythm; pick a body part, and try and follow that rhythm with a movement. If you do this enough, your whole body will naturally want to follow suit and you’ll be dancing.
17. Will rub my back when I feel sick. Comforting someone when they feel sick is an easy way to show true affection and love. The key to a good back rub is to look at the body like a map: follow the lines and curves. If you try and swim across a lake instead of skirting the shore, you’ll have to work harder.
18. Someone who will be goofy w/me. Let her see the person you hide. You know that when you see a Lolcat you laugh. Don’t be scared to let her see the real you. If she loves you, she’ll love the real you — the one who wants to dress up on Halloween, the one who likes to play pranks…
19. Will try new things w/me. Life is a series of events and experiences. If you go out and try new things, your life will be enriched with the knowledge you find. Don’t be scared; the worst that can happen is that you learn that you don’t like certain things. You can always refund your boredom.
20. Won’t lie to me. Why lie? If she’s not understanding of you enough to know the truth, then you’re not meant to be together. You’ll be surprised to find that your girl understands when you do something stupid. Just make sure that when you do something dumb, you lead with the fact that you are being forthcoming with the truth because you don’t want to lie to her.
We’ll do another 20 tomorrow.
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